Trust, and now the lack thereof

they hurt me again, my "best" friends. they hurt me a lot. i think they don't even notice.

we were supposed to hangout tonight. well, they did, and i didn't. this is the second time that they've conveniently "forgotten" me.


i can't blame them. i'm desperate for their love and attention. all i want is for someone to love me, and they say they do. but if you love someone, do you forget about them. i don't know. i don't trust them as much anymore. and i find that incredibly sad.

so enough of my moping, today's list. theres 10 since i didnt do a post yesterday.


1. All of the homeless poeple stuck in the cold, -50 windchill! WTF?
2. My C key. it's all stuck and whatnot.
3. People who live without food.
4. People who are alone. I hate it, i bet they do too.
5. People who betray their friends. God bless them, everyone. (idr the scripture, but to heap burning oals on the heads of those that hurt you, ask God to bless them. perfet revenge)
6. My friend Cameron finished the rough draft of his novel, he needs an agent =] same as me.
7. All of my friends. i love them so much.
8. Our world leaders, that the make the right decisions for our world.
9. The planet itself, we're killing it people.
10. Last but definitely not least, Candy. The girl and her situation worries me.

Sleep Deprivation...and Cosplay!!

SLEEP


i needs it :) other than that, the world is good. i think. maybe.


>.< i'm hungry. ANYWAY topic for today...topic for today... i guess...COSPLAY!!! WOOO i want too soooo fricking bad. Cosplay rocks, and there are SO many people out there that do it, that rock too!! Who would i cosplay as, you ask? DEMYX ZOMG. <3 <3 <3 <3 yeah, i really really really really like Demyx from Kingdom Hearts 2 + the others he's in...seriously, i would rape him if he was real probably. lol, one of MANY people that would though so ya know i wouldnt cuz seriously...there are a LOT of Demyx fans...long list and well by the time i got a piece who knows what he'd have or where he'd been?

ewwww STDs!! -flail-

yeah, i'm a bit obsessive on the Demyx thing. >.> it's the fanboy thingy lol. i want his sitar! ima make me one =] when i start cosplaying. which'll be in a few years. now way in heaven am i doing it while im fat and slobby =] lol. i want to be a pretty Demyx. lol.


My Prayer List for Today!! *singsong voice*:

1. Candy again.
2. For anyone who is stuck in the weather that's coming... (-10 wind chill! ZOMGWTFBBQ?!)
3. Betsy again :D that she gets the opportunity to do missions, if her heart and God are both still telling her too, and that if she gets to go she'll be safe. =]
4. Weight loss for any and all who need it! (i do!! badly >.< )
5. Again, for my publishing and lack thereof. >.< so much poetry...

First Post!! WOO!!

So, this is like my fourth blog...yeah, i had one for my graphics/tattoo designs site (which failed utterly), one for my personally that stemmed off of that site's blog, and a live journal that i can't for the life of me get into...

i'm a forgetful person =] if it's not a constant in my life, then i forget. ergo, i forgot the passwords to those other blogs...and my site...and one of my myspaces...an loads of other things. Hell, i'm so forgetful, i don't eat until i'm absolutely famished, or reminded.

I like to say, I wasn't made for reality. True, no? For those of you who know me (and i'm wanting my friends to read this, heh heh) i;m pretty scatterbrained.

So, what to talk about...i'm not sure actually. I'll list all of the sites i'm on:
i have a youtube
a fictionpress.net account
my DeviantArt account and Journal
my Y!Gallery account and Journal (i need to draw/write stuff for it...don't feel like it right now and my scanner is broked.)
a Facebook
TWO Myspaces
a website that failed
the forum and the 2 blogs for that website that failed
umm...oh, a livejournal that i can't get into
AND my fanfiction.net account that i'm ignoring for the moment because i don't feel like rewriting my crappy, yet still pretty popular (im still getting roughly 70 hits a day and it's been completed for MONTHS...7000 hits here i come)story, and updating all of my others (i have a lot). With writing, sketching, AIMing, and YahooIMing (when i rememebr to log in) my life is pretty busy.

And now, i add a blog to the mix. SHEESH im such a social person, at least on the internet. Tempted to get a Twitter too. Maybe next month.


My Birthday is in a couple of weeks (the 18th)...not excited at all....

That was just a bit of a random fact thrown in.


PRAYER LIST (if you pray). Every post i'm going to bring up 5 needs that i feel need addressed. I might repeat some, but hey, prayer is something you can do over, and over, and over... :

1. It's getting winter, pray for those who don't have shelter.
2. My friend Betsy is wanting to go on a missions trip...i doubt she knows i know (i read her blog lol) but i feel like i should pray for her, and for her mother to make the RIGHT decision. Whichever is in God's plan.
3. My friend Candace is having issues with family. It's kind of an unspoken prayer need, with a name attached. :D
4. That i finish one of the MANY original stories i'm working on, and that God gives me the opportunity to find a literary agent to help me publish quickly. I need money.
5. Our country. I don't know if we elected a good president or not, or if we have any good leaders besides Lisa J. Billy (i love her, she gives me hugs when i see her ^-^ and she really cares.) and a few others. We, as Americans, have a duty to pray for those that are over us, and watching out for us. We cannot fall to terrorism, or Communism, or sin and vice. We need a reform, people.